Starfox meets Redwall (Censored version)
by Brazrak
Summary: First fanfic, second time posted. Please R&R. Plz no flames. Don't read chapter four if you cant take a joke about Lord of the Rings.
1. Starfox meets Redwall

Disclaimer: I don't own Starfox or Redwall (Darn)!  
  
Starfox Meets Redwall  
  
It was a normal day on the Great Fox. Fox and Falco were throttling each other, Slippy was prancing around in his new tutu, Rob was trying to upgrade his nerves, and Peppy was stargazing.  
  
Peppy: Slip, whad' I say 'bout losin' things outside the ship?  
  
Slippy: Uh… don't?  
  
Peppy: It was a rhetorical question Slip.  
  
Slippy: What's rhe-ter-icol?  
  
Peppy: annoyed Never mind. What's that thing floatin' towards the ship?  
  
Slippy: It isn't mine. Fox, what's rer-ti-acle?  
  
Fox & Falco: mutters Dumb-ass…  
  
Fox: Let me have a look at it Peppy…looks Peppy, that's a guy… with a purse?  
  
Falco: Rob, catch him in the tractor beam, everyone else, get your phasers ready.  
  
Fox: Hey, I'm the leader!  
  
Falco: SHUT THE H*LL UP!!! I'll make you the leader of my foot when I'm done with you! Starts throttling each other again  
  
Once on board, the floating guy turns out to be a Salamandastron hare.  
  
Hare: Hello sah's and ma'am…  
  
Slippy: HEY!  
  
Hare: Bart Thistledown's the name, wot!  
  
Peppy: mutters Please tell me he's faking that accent…  
  
Bart: Bloomin' bad form, wot wot! I heard that, wot!  
  
Peppy: Oh sh*t…  
  
Bart: Flippin' bad language sah! Wouldn't last a blinkin' minute with a Badger Lord, no sah, wot wot!!  
  
Peppy: STOP WITH THE GODDAMN ACCENT!!!  
  
Suddenly, the tiny head of a mole-babe pops out of Bart's bag.  
  
Mole: Burr aye! Moi naime be's Dinny! Ee use some bad langage, burr aye!  
  
Peppy: collapses twitching Sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t…  
  
Bart: Bad form, wot wot. Hate t'say it, sah, but you use blinkin' words worse then me ole gran' pappy! Did I ever tell you 'bout the time when he swore so loud he made the dibbuns cry, wot? Well, sah…  
  
Peppy: AGHHHH!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!! F***IN' SHUT UP!!!  
  
Bart: My gosh sah! Flippin' worst language I've ever heard, wot! 'Cept fer when me ole gran' pappy burnt 'imself! Worst stream of language I could bear, wot wot!  
  
Peppy: takes out a phaser and points it at Bart If you don't f***in' shut up in the next…  
  
Bart: Bad form sah! Never had one o' those pointed at me in all my years, wot wot! But then there was the time…  
  
Peppy: shoots and kills Bart HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thank God for that!  
  
Dinny: Hurr, ee killed moi friend! Oi'll boite ee and kick ee 'till ee's dead!!!  
  
Peppy: goes insane and blows up the Great Fox  
  
After the Great Fox was destroyed, the only two survivors were Peppy and Dinny. For two years you could see Dinny savagely attacking Peppy and Peppy trying to kill Dinny.  
  
Dinny: Oi's not done wit' ee! You doi!  
  
Peppy: goes insane again and shoves a nova bomb down his own throat and hugs Dinny next to him DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Thousands of miles away people could see the explosion of the last of the Starfox crew, and a tiny mole.  
  
The End  
  
Please R&R. 


	2. Starwolf meets Pokemon

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon (thank god) or Starfox.  
  
1 Starwolf meets Pokemon  
  
2  
  
3 One day on the…the… well, Starwolf's ship, all was calm… except for Wolf ranting and raving about how crummy his crew is.  
  
4  
  
5 Wolf: enraged YOU A*SHOLES!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN BLOW UP A MINE BY SHOOTING IT!!!  
  
6  
  
7 Andrew: scared I-I-its n-not m-m-my fault, Wolf…  
  
8  
  
9 Wolf: YES IT IS!!! YOU'RE THE ONE AFRAID TO TAKE A PEANUT FROM THE BAG YOU BOUGHT!!!  
  
10  
  
11 Andrew: B-but it said 50 peanuts in a bag. M-mine had 51; I counted.  
  
12  
  
13 Wolf: HOLY SH*T, YOU'RE A DISGRACE!!!  
  
14  
  
15 Suddenly a Japanese Animated guy came flying through a portal ripped open in space. He hit the window and appeared to be the girly wimp Ash Ketchum from the girly wimpy show, Pokemon. Wolf opened the hatch and Ash (the bast*rd) fell through.  
  
Wolf: snarling Who are you?  
  
Ash: I'm the girly wimp Ash Ketchum from the girly wimpy show, Pokemon!  
  
Wolf: pointing a phaser at Ash Get off my ship!!  
  
Ash: throws a poke-ball with little flowers painted on it Go, Gay- freak! Hit the wolf with a double kick! A Nidarino pops out of the ball and starts kicking the air like a nerd  
  
Wolf: confused You're trying to kill me with a mutated bunny- rabbit?  
  
Ash: Not just any mutated bunny-rabbit; a gay mutated bunny-rabbit.  
  
Wolf: Get off my ship.  
  
Ash: throws another poke-ball Go, Pika-freak! Use your thundershock!!!  
  
Wolf: Now your trying to kill me with an electric yellow street rat? You come from a gay show.  
  
Ash: proud Yes I do!!  
  
Wolf: shoots Pikachu and Nidarino with his phaser Haha gay-man! You're sh*tty gay hench-freaks are dead!!  
  
Since Pokemon are never shot by people's weapons and only demented Pokemon attacks, Pikachu and Nidarino turn inside out and then explode.  
  
Ash: Screw you a*shole! Those were my best Pokemon!!  
  
Wolf: Such naughty words for a girly wimp! Oh, and by the way, IF YOU DON'T F***ING GET OFF MY SHIP, YOU'RE NEXT!  
  
Ash: Damn it, I'm going. Jumps out the air hatch  
  
Wolf: at the weapon controls of his ship, shooting wildly at Ash DIE GAY MAN!! DIE, DIE I TELL YOU!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! hits Ash and blows off his head YES, YES!!! HAHAHAHA, I KILLED HIM!!!  
  
Pigma, Leon, and Andrew: Damn, we weren't in this fan-fic at all!!  
  
Wolf: still crazed WHO GIVES A SH*T!! I KILLED ASH KETCHUM!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
All except Wolf: O…k…  
  
  
  
The End (I hope)  
  
  
  
Please review. 


	3. Starfox meets DBZ

Disclaimer: I still do not own Starfox and I do not own DBZ (damn)  
  
Starfox meets Dragon Ball Z  
  
After being blown up by an insane Peppy and Peppy then killing himself, the Starfox crew has been miraculously brought back to life. They don't know how, but someone does. This is their quest to find out how they are alive and, oh yeah, where they are.  
  
Fox: Where are we? And more importantly, why are we alive… PEPPY?!!  
  
Peppy: Yeeees?  
  
Fox: WHY THE HELL DID YOU KILL US?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Peppy: Ummm… Slippy did it?  
  
Slippy: WHAT?! jumps at Peppy, but collapses in pain by stepping on a leaf Owowowowowowowowowowowow! pathetically Fox, it hurts!  
  
Fox: mumbles Sad, sad, sad…  
  
Falco: mutters Dumb ass…  
  
Peppy: stepping on a twitching Slippy Well, I say we find who revived us and where the hell we are. loud explosion Hey… did you hear that?  
  
Falco: sarcastically Only half the planet. What was it?  
  
Fox: It sounded like an explosion.  
  
Falco: No sh*t. Who made it?  
  
Suddenly a green alien with antennae, seeming to be Namekian, flew by into a rock, completely obliterating the rock.  
  
Falco: What the hell?  
  
Fox: HEY! Falco, keep this fan-fic at PG-13. That's enough swearing you've done that isn't censored.  
  
Falco: mutters No shit Sherlock…  
  
Fox: I heard that. Hey, Mr. Author, censor a little less things ok?  
  
Author (Brazrak): mutters You're telling me what to do, Mr. High and Mighty?  
  
Fox: Oy vey. Ok everyone, back to the mission, and with a little less swearing ok?  
  
Namek lodged in rock: Hey, what about me?  
  
Starfox crew: Sorry!  
  
Fox: walks over to the Namekian Who are you, and why are you stuck in a rock?  
  
Namek: I'm Piccolo. I was fighting Frieza and I'm getting my ass kicked passes out  
  
Fox: stunned That was… strange. Well we better get going to find this Frieza thing…  
  
Falco: stunned Yeah… let's go…  
  
Slippy: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE???  
  
Peppy: Riiiiight…  
  
Cut to the crew standing outside a huge pit with what appears to be Goku and Frieza trying to kill each other.  
  
Fox: Peppy?  
  
Peppy: Yes?  
  
Fox: Why the hell are those guys shooting colored balls of light at each other? And why are they glowing?  
  
Peppy: Beats me…  
  
Cut to the crew standing next to the confused figures of Goku and Frieza.  
  
Falco: Who are you?  
  
Goku: I'm Goku and this is Frieza! We're killing each other!  
  
Slippy: poking Frieza Ow, zappy. Ow zappy. Ow zap- Frieza blows Slippy up with an energy jolt  
  
Peppy, Falco, and Fox: YIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Thank you Frieza!!!  
  
Fox: Listen, do either of you know who we are?  
  
Goku: Oh yeah, you're the guys from StarFox64®!!!  
  
Fox: Yeah! Do you know who revived us? We were dead a few hours ago.  
  
Goku: That would be Vegeta! He's a huge fan of yours! Go a mile south, he's in a huge dome, can't miss it.  
  
Fox: Thanks! And thanks for killing Slippy, big help!  
  
Cut to Starfox crew asking Vegeta questions.  
  
Falco: Why did you revive us?  
  
Vegeta: angrily So I could do this! Kills all but Fox  
  
Fox: runs away, screaming like a Ash Ketchum getting shot in the last chapter.  
  
  
  
The End (Sad ending huh!) 


	4. Starfox meets Lord of the Rings

Disclaimer: I still do not own Starfox or The Lord of The Rings.  
  
1 Starfox meets Lord of The Rings  
  
Again the Starfox crew has been resurrected from the dead. This time they don't really care where they are or how they are alive.  
  
Fox: Why are we alive and where-thinks about what he's saying Oh forget it.  
  
Suddenly a huge army of Moria goblins comes charging towards them, and in front of them are nine people running for their lives.  
  
Fox: Oh shit! What are they?!  
  
Falco: You're asking me? I say… RUN FOR YOUR BLOODY LIVES!!!  
  
Slippy: poking himself in the chest with a dropped dagger Ow! Pointy. Ow! Pointy. Ow! Pointy. Ow! Point- Peppy trips him and Slippy stabs himself in the leg OOWWWWWWW!!!  
  
Fox: Shit, he's still alive. Peppy why didn't you kill him?  
  
Peppy: 'Cause I'm goin' to light 'im on fire and watch the stampeding things run over him. takes out a match and ignites Slippy  
  
Slippy: IT BURNS! Help me Fox…  
  
Fox: smiling evilly Don't worry Slip, alcohol cures wounds. pours whole bottle of pure alcohol on Slippy  
  
Slippy: Thanks Fox, I feel grea- explodes  
  
The nine people (Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Sam, Gandalf, Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, and Gimli) squished the smoldering remains of Slippy with the Goblins right behind them.  
  
Fox: takes phaser and shoots all of the goblins Who are you people and what are… er, were those things?  
  
Gandalf: We're the Fellowship; protecting Middle Earth and not letting Sauron get the Ring. I'm Gandalf; this is Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. Those were Moria goblins that chased us out of the caves.  
  
Peppy: I read you books. Why are you still alive Gandalf?  
  
Gandalf: I die in Moria? Oh shit.  
  
Peppy: But those are Moria goblins. Haven't you been to Moria yet?  
  
Gandalf: No.  
  
Peppy: I'll end you torment in Moria now. takes out his phaser  
  
Gandalf: NO!!! Peppy shoots shit. Fuck you Peppy!!!  
  
Peppy: smiling You're welcome!  
  
Cut to Starfox crew and the eight remaining men in Moria. Pippin does that dumb thing where he pushes the corpse down the well thingy. The goblins and cave troll come barging in.  
  
Frodo: Oh shit, now no one can protect us.  
  
Peppy: That's my fault isn't it.  
  
All: No shit.  
  
Peppy: Damn.  
  
Cut to all but the Starfox crew dead. In the background see Sauron picking the ring off Frodo's finger. Starfox crew are getting in their Arwings.  
  
Fox: Congratulations on a job well done… Middle Earth blows up behind them by killing Slippy.  
  
All: A JOB WELL DONE!!  
  
The Endish 


	5. Starfox meets the Simpsons

Starfox meets the Simpsons  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Starfox or the Simpsons. I only wish I did. If I did I'd create an entire network of cartoons and video games and TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Again some strange force has brought Slippy back to life (damn). The rest of the Starfox crew has cursed themselves to hell in going to the same place as he was. This was oddly the town of Springfield.  
  
Falco: Where the hell are we? AND WHY THE HELL IS SLIPPY ALIVE!? Fox: evilly I dunno, but we can change that. Peppy: wincing at an explosion in the distance Too bad the Arwings caught fire on the way in the atmosphere. Suddenly Homer Simpson come out of nowhere sobbing pitifully and smoldering. Homer: Something hit the beer shed sob! The whole beer shed! sobbing some more Peppy: innocently Oops. hehe. Falco: Peppy you asshole!! You ruined beer?! Goddamn you!starts throttling Peppy like Homer does to Bart Homer:still sobbing about his beer All the beer sob gone.sob Fox: Oh, shut up! Homer: Why you little.! Don't tell me to shut up! starts throttling Fox Slippy: Yippee, I'm not Fox! By the way, does anyone know what re-tert-acle is? All but Slippy: SHUT UP!! Suddenly, a skate-board hits Slippy in the back of the head and knocks him unconscious. Bart walks out of the house with his daredevil stuff from the episode where he almost goes off a cliff on. Bart: Cool, dead frog!! starts stabbing Slippy with a butcher's knife and stuffs a cherry bomb down his throat Run for it!!! Slippy's stomach explodes and his limbs fly around the yard Cool!! Fox and Falco: GO BART!!! Bart: looks up at Fox and Falco Cool, more animals!! takes his knife and starts chasing Fox and Falco Homer: pitifully Come on boy, this is no time to have fun! All the beer is gone sob! Bart stops chasing Fox and Falco Bart: NOT THE BEER!! starts sobbing like Homer After about a year of calming Homer and Bart down, Marge convinced Homer to take Fox, Falco, and Peppy to the nuclear plant.  
  
Mr. Burns: Excellent.does that Mr. Burns finger crossy thing Smithers: What? Mr. Burns: I just like saying that. Excellent.  
  
0_o .Ok.  
  
Peppy: at the nuclear plant What's that? points to the nuclear reactor Homer: I dunno. It's just been there as long as I've worked here. Peppy: Then I'll shoot it! shoots it  
  
After Springfield exploded, the Starfox crew was, surprisingly, still alive. Falco: smoldering on the ground Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.  
  
Fox and Peppy: Ow.  
  
Well, the end I guess.  
  
All of the cast of the Simpsons that didn't have a line: Why didn't we have lines Mr. Author? Huh? everyone takes out butcher's knives  
  
Author(Brazrak): Uh. Gotta Go!!! runs away  
  
Please Review. wait, who wrote that? The author's being chased! Creepy. 


End file.
